Love is a powerful emotion that affects our thoughts and actions in many ways. It can make us feel euphoric, it can make us feel sad, but most of all, it makes us feel alive.
Why are we so obsessed with being in love? is a question that has been asked for centuries. The answer to the question, is not easy to find.
Is it true that love makes the world go round? (Photo courtesy of Getty)
My closest friend had her first lover when she was 14 years old.
I inquired about her experience. ‘The greatest thing ever,’ she responded.
The romance ended two weeks later, and my buddy vowed to stay away from males until the next youth dance, but I was hooked on love from that point forward.
Because our culture is preoccupied with being in love, it was inevitable that I would fall hard for romance.
I was persuaded at the age of 14 that I would never achieve real happiness until romance entered my life. It felt like pure magic to me. And it’s a difficult notion to overcome.
Despite our love for our families, friendships, artistic endeavors, and all the other parts of life that we may enjoy, romantic love is seen as elite – it is what we are all meant to strive for.
Songs, novels, poetry, art, films, and even reality television are all about romantic love. Take a look at some of the most prominent aspects of pop culture in recent years.
Love Island’s primary selling point is a commercialized interpretation of romantic connection. Every year, for the whole summer, millions of people in Majorca get hooked to issues of the heart, despite the fact that they have nothing to do with us.
Modern Love on Amazon Prime, which recently finished its second season, shows various types of love, although the romantic kind always seems like the primary goal.
Sally Rooney’s best-selling novel and accompanying TV series, Normal People, takes a critical look at social class and sexual desire, but it’s ultimately a love tale.
If it weren’t for the two characters’ “will they/won’t they” mouse chase, readers and viewers may not have been as engaged with the narrative.
We wanted them to be full, entire, and secure while they were together, since they could never be such things on their own.
But why are we still so preoccupied with romantic love in 2021, when society’s expectations don’t strangle us as much as they did to and men and women have greater control over their lives?
‘We may mislead ourselves by feeling so much pressure to be in a loving relationship.’ (Photo courtesy of Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Asa Baav, a sex and dating specialist, tells Metro.co.uk, ‘First and foremost, it’s science.’
‘It pushes us naturally to locate our partner in order to reproduce and maintain our species alive.
‘Secondly, when it comes to meeting the one and settling down as the thing you do on your path into maturity, it is difficult to disregard conventional social standards and expectations.
‘And, third, we are highly affected by what we see and read in the media when it comes to love. We begin to absorb it at an early age and continue to do so throughout our lives; just look at Netflix; there is a new romantic program every day.’
The strain is increasing as popular reality television portrays the quest for love almost entirely through the eyes of people in their twenties.
‘They put so much stress on younger people of both genders falling in love,’ says Heather Garbutt, a relationship counselor.
‘This sends the harmful message that a person can’t be happy unless they’re in a love relationship.
‘Rather of teaching the value of self-love, personal boundaries, and fulfillment, shows like Love Island, Naked Attraction, and Too Hot To Handle have all contributed to the notion of a happy-ever-after existence.’
Many individuals will admit to remaining in unsatisfactory relationships because they believe it is preferable than being alone. According to Heather, our preoccupation with romantic relationships may frequently lead to this kind of behavior.
‘We may put so much pressure on ourselves to be in a loving relationship that we deceive ourselves,’ she says.
‘Then we start making excuses for the other person’s poor behavior or convince ourselves that being in a terrible relationship is preferable than being alone. Even if our behavior and circumstances indicate otherwise, we convince ourselves that we are in love and that the other person loves us.’
It’s a cliché, but in order to be really content and happy in love, you must also be pleased in other aspects of your life. Love and joy, according to Heather, may be found in a variety of locations.
‘We should look at other areas instead of getting obsessed with the idea of falling in love and enjoying the stimulation that this offers,’ Heather suggests.
‘Who are the people in our lives who make us feel good about ourselves?’ What are the activities that make us happy? To get insight into our personalities, we must search inside. How can we elicit joyful feelings in our own lives without relying on others?
‘Learning that we are solely responsible for the feelings we feel makes it simpler to deal with unpleasant emotions if and when future relationships fail.
‘Rather of being overwhelmed by hatred, rage, and sorrow, we may recall how to live happily without the burden of romance and move on more swiftly and efficiently.’
While we may find fulfillment in other areas of life, a part of us will always want for steadfast commitment.
That it isn’t always a negative thing.
‘We have a strong need to belong, and our feeling of belonging draws us to share moments and experiences with the people we care about,’ Asa says.
‘This is normal, and we all want to feel it, but I believe we need to define what love means to us and figure out what will work for us based on our life objectives, wants, and aspirations.’
See also: Love Island
‘We grow up believing that the sole relationship pattern is eternal love, having children, and being in a monogamous relationship, but we are seeing an increasing hunger and interest for individuals to explore their path through love and relationships,’ she adds.
‘Exploring and expressing our true desires and requirements requires honesty, open communication, respect, and the understanding that no one individual can fulfill all of our needs.
‘And I believe this is a good path ahead in love.’
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Are you still not convinced? Find out more here.
The why is everyone so desperate for a relationship is a question that has been asked for years. There are many reasons why we want to be in love and some of them might surprise you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why are we obsessed with falling in love?
Our brains are wired for love. We have a natural tendency to fall in love with those we find attractive and to seek out partners who will be good for us and our children.
Is being obsessed being in love?
Being obsessed is not the same as being in love.
How do I stop being obsessed with the idea of love?
The best way to stop being obsessed with the idea of love is to focus on other things and try not to think about it.
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